Parent-Teacher Conference. These meetings aren't supposed to emotional roller coasters. And yet:
"So," Ms. S says, flipping through a folder with my daughter's name on it, preparing to dive in to a peppy discussion of my daughter's performance so far this year. I haven't gotten to know Ms. S that well yet this year. At this point, I know that she is young, bright and enthusiastic; and my whole goal for this conference is to please her. It's very important that I be her favorite parent in the class. So much so, that I'm actually a little nervous in this moment. Because obviously, none of this is about my daughter at all. It's about me.
Click here to DadCentric to read the rest of this post and find out what neurotic parents like me are thinking during these meetings.
P.S. This post is dedicated to Meangirl Garage, who recently finished up Parent-Teacher conferences from the other side of the table. Check her out. She writes about other stuff beyond just teaching. Like sex toys, for example.
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The goat's looking a little rough around the edges. It's time for the next step, as we work our way down to the final 'stachegasm. You tell me: Mustache and chin moss? Mustache and soul patch? Mustache and gigantic clown wig?
And have you donated, either in my name or Team DadCentric? Cancer bad cancer bad cancer bad. Couple of bucks. Don't make me bring General Zod out here. He has a mustache and laser eyes.
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I'd worry that the chair would explode when I sat on it. Does that ever happen?
ReplyDeleteThe chairs in MY room are a *little* larger. Not much though. I may print that one out and keep it by my desk....
ReplyDeleteIt only needs a bit of trimming!
ReplyDeleteMaybe she was once a police officer. A tiny chair seems like a perfect tactic for mentally disarming parents before she has at them. By the way, was Zod there? That could explain the Great Santini confusion.
ReplyDeleteSoulpatch. Definitely soulpatch.
ReplyDeleteBooze patch... oh sorry wrong window. What the heck is a soul patch. Not a fan of anything stache except booze stash but we seem to be on a different page here.
ReplyDeleteYay. Friday.
Huh, are you sure you're talking about your daughter and not mine? She's 19 now but basically still has the same personality traits. And that's what they are, traits...not flaws. As a matter of fact, I think that's why she ended up doing so well in school.
ReplyDeleteI never wanted to be the favorite parent, I wanted to be the most feared parent. I would arrive behaving like an angry, crazy, Asian. (I find I can channel that one quite easily from my childhood with my angry crazy Asian mom)
My number two daughter was a terror when she was young and extremely opinionated. As long as her teachers feared me, she received much more understanding from her teachers and they would try anything to avoid a parent-teacher conference with me.
...oh, mustache, soul patch AND gigantic clown wig please!
Clown wig. Haha!
ReplyDelete"It's very important that I be her favorite parent in the class." One simple sentence explains so much more. I was embarrassed from recognizing myself when I read this... Next week is our PTC. Because I don't think the man teacher likes me that much, I've asked my husband to go by himself... Yeah, it's all about me too... LOL.
ReplyDeleteI'd stick with the ragged look and add the clown wig. No one would mess with you.
ReplyDeleteGlasses AND a hairy butt chin! Hey oh!
ReplyDeleteStachegasm. Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe that the school couldn't provide you with an adult chair to sit in. Way to make you feel insignificant once again.
ReplyDelete