Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Muy Macho Edition

I haven't gone Random in a few weeks, but this is a good day for it.  So let's roll.  (With word up to Super Keely the Unmom, proprietor of RTT.)

randomtuesday

1.  Movember, Day Eight
Here's the latest progress in my face's ongoing quest to a) fight cancer, and b) turn me into a bald, wilderness-dwelling survivalist:

It's probably a little tough to see the freshly grown machismo on my face, due to the blinding light reflecting off my shiny forehead.  But it's coming along well.

You can get an update on Team DadCentric's progress here.  There's some very, very manly scruffiness happening across the board.  Still no idea what Movember is all about?  Itching to find a fast and easy way to donate a few bucks towards men's cancer research?  Click here.

I'm going to have to make a facescaping decision soon: full beard?  Goatee?  Chin moss?  Soul patch, for the obnoxious coffeehouse poet in me?  I'm pretty sure the official Movember rules state you're supposed to grow out just the 'stache, with no other facial adornment.  But if I do that, you guys, I'm going to look like a discount 70s porn star who's desperate for work.  Even if I had hair on my head, a solo 'stache would look strange -- but considering I have no head hair, it would just look freakish.  I have to stand in front of 100 students twice a week, people.  I'd like to try and hang onto that last tiny shred of respect I've got left in the classroom.  As it is, they're already looking at me apprehensively with the facial hair I've cultivated so far.  One student (who feels way too comfortable being honest with me) said that a full beard makes me look like a serial killer.

I don't know what he's talking about.  Although I did decide that I'm going to walk into all my classes looking like this today:

Wait! Come back!  Let's diagram some sentences!


2.  Climbing the Mountain on the Backs of the Oppressed
If I ever write a memoir about teaching, I think that will be the title.  I just finished scaling Everest grading a mammoth stack of papers.  The assignment was to write a researched editorial piece that presents a unique take on a local or regionally focused issue -- something current.  (I had to add a special addendum on the assignment sheet explaining that the paper must be plagiarism-free.  Sometimes you have to actually articulate it.)   They could pick any issue they wanted; it didn't have to be something on last week's California ballot, although that was fine if they wanted to go that way.  I told them they could pick any topic they wanted.  Here's a sampling of some of the titles I received:

Pot Rocks!
Marijuana for the Masses
Freedom to Toke
It's for Medicinal Purposes, Dammit
Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of a Sweet High


and:


Mexico: The Silent Storm Lurking at Our Doorstep

I'm still not quite sure what that last one is actually about.  And I read it twice.

3.  Atrophy, Thy Name Is... My Name
Thanks to work, child, and personal lassitude, it's been about a week since I've gone to the gym to pick up heavy things and put them down again several times in a row.  Sure, I know what you'll say: cultivating this massive beard is a form of exertion in itself.  Shouldn't it count as exercise?  Yes, yes it should.  It doesn't grow like this on its own, folks.  It requires effort.  I've actually been doing 15 face crunches a day to help push this scruff out so quickly.

Most people think lifting weights is boring.  They're right.  But I like that.  Lately, it seems that the only way my brain can stop spinning in its pan is to do something repetitive and monotonous that requires little or no cognitive reasoning.  It helps me stop thinking,  lowers my stress, keeps me chill, and apparently ensures that I'm more pleasant for my family to be around later.  (What am I like when I don't exercise?  See above photo.)  I need to get back to my routine soon.  It's good for me, good for family, and frankly, good for America.

4.  Links: DadCentric and CultureBrats
I'm over at DadCentric today with a new post.  It's about how the Mini-Pirate came up with a great pretend game to play with me, and how I subsequently crapped all over it.  And made her cry.  Awesome.  Yet another entry in my ongoing (lifelong), "How to be a Better Dad than Me" series.

On the less guilt-ridden side, I've also been recapping AMC's new zombie series The Walking Dead over at Culture Brats.  My take on the second episode is here.  Check it out.  There's viscera.

19 comments:

  1. Honestly, I much prefer the serial killer face.

    Lord, what must that say about me?

    I have to go lie down now.

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  2. I never realized those 'pirate drawings' in your banner were actually photographs.

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  3. Put a pirate hat on and look all pirate like for class--that will really keep them guessing--or scared.

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  4. I actually love the scruff! I say go all mountain man, man.

    Here's my essay title, should I have been a student of yours. "Sometimes When I Smoke Pot I Feel Silly, About Mexico."

    Happy RTT

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  5. haha, LOVE the serial-killer-for-teacher photo/idea!

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  6. The facescaping should be obvious. Go for the swashbuckling goatee and wear a bandana on your head (preferably with jolly rogers all over it.

    Warning: insert gold hoop earring and run the risk of being mistaken for Mr. Clean

    Also, please get back to weightlifting, this past week the world has been on an obvious decline and now I know why. Get to your workout quickly, we are depending on you.

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  7. Since I could not see the first picture because of the blinding light, I prefer the fisherman, New England, rain boots and hook look. Yeah the second one.

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  8. My wife's been trying to get me sucked into The Walking Dead--not happening.

    You're a good lookin' man.

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  9. Bald heads are hot and that snow hat picture looks pretty badass. Like you're 31. I think you look good.

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  10. I still stand by the goatee. It's classic.

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  11. @otherwordlyone: It says that you enjoy living on the edge. That you're a risk-taker. That you live in your Now. Which we already knew about you.

    @unmitigated me: Now you know -- the Sharpie renderings are so lifelike, it's spooky, yes?

    @VandyJ: Yes. I think it's time for them to see me full-on, decked out piratehood. I should go out to the garage and find my old Halloween costume...

    @Nicole: Scruff support noted. And essays submitted with compliments always get an automatic A.

    @Marty: You just inspired me to use the serial killer shot as my new profile pic on Facebook. That'll scare some friends away...

    @Nari: Heh. Goatee with bandana does seem tailor made for pirating. I do shave my head all the way to the gleam, by the way. But sadly (or luckily?) I never seem to pull off the Mr. Clean look.

    @WannabeV: Does that mean you enjoyed my tour de force performance in "I Know What You Did Last Summer"?

    @Clark Kent: You have to give the show a shot. Go back and watch the first episode. You have to. And stop making fun of me, Mr. I-Still-Have-The-Thick-Hair-of-a-Twenty-Year-Old.

    @Julie Momspective: Shucks, ma'am.

    @Badass Geek: I had a goatee for about a year, up until a couple months ago. This could be the right time cultivate it again, in the name of fighting cancer.

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  12. The hat pic makes You look a little like if Henry Rollins shaved his head.

    Loving the Walking Dead.

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  13. LMAO oh that second one with the caption is so awesome.

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  14. @Homemaker Man--I was going to say he looked like Ian McKaye.

    Anyway, the beard is VERY impressive. I'm so jealous. I swear if I could grow a real beard I would shave my head. I say keep the whole thing. You know, for winter. Haha.

    Re: weightlifting. It's been so long for me that I'm getting skinny old man arms. Not hot, especially in tandem with beer gut.

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  15. That last title reminded me of this line: Like maple syrup, Canada's evil oozes over the United States.

    As for the facial hair... you're in California, teaching English in a college or something; you're already 2/3 of the way there to being a hipster. Just quit the protesting and grow the "ironic" moustache and be done with it.

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  16. @Homemaker Man: Henry Rollins. I like it. I like it better than Stanley Tucci, which is the other comparison I've been getting lately.

    @jillsmo: You weren't suppose to laugh! You were supposed to run in fear! (Dang.)

    @Beta Dad: Ian Kaye? I'll take that one too. Still cooler than The Tootch.

    @SciFi Dad: Remember, there's a thin, thin line between "hipster" and "pretentious doofus." I walk that line everyday.

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  17. Didn't notice the beard etc too much in awe and in love with Saucy Wench as to how perfect the bookshelves are... sigh... is she accepting fan mail yet?

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  18. The serial killer look should keep them guessing. Stick with it.

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  19. Hi! New follower from the Tuesday hop!

    Kristin :)
    Keenly Kristin

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