Soon I hope to fill this month with posts that are chockful of Didactic Wack, because there's a lot going on -- we're emerging from holiday chaos, the wife and kid are already proving to be even weirder in 2011 than they were in 2010, school is starting soon, and I'm enjoying some truly inspiring rejection letters for my short fiction. Good stuff.
But today, hop on the link below and you'll get to my latest over at DadCentric: the most recent battle of wills between me and the Mini-Pirate. It's like Thunderdome.
My nine-year-old daughter is playing contentedly in her room. I am puttering around the house. I walk through the front hall and stumble on a pair of pink sneakers with super-sparkly laces.
Me (calling upstairs): Kiddo, will you come down and put your shoes away please?
Her: Ok, Daddy.
(Five minutes pass. I walk through the front hall again.)
Me: Child. Please. Come down here and take your shoes upstairs so people don’t trip on them.
Her: Can't you just move them?
Me: No, I can't just move them. They're your shoes.
Her: But I’m in the middle of something important.
Me: What, you're in the middle of a teleconference? Get down here and Put. Your. Shoes. Away.
Me (voice raising slightly): Now.
Her: I said ok!
Me: Saying ok isn't the same thing as doing it. Please do it.
Her: I will!
(I wait at the bottom of the stairs, listening for movement. I know what she's doing. She's up there sprawled on the floor, reading comic books. Just as I’m about to get loud for real, I hear floorboards squeaking. Whew.)
That's not the end.
Click here to read the whole post.