My chosen topic? How Life is the worst board game ever created.
It starts like this:
My daughter received the board game Life from my parents for Christmas this year. She was thrilled – immediately after opening it, she begged my wife and I to play it with her. Sure, we said. Why not? Board game! Good Time Family Fun!
I vaguely remembered the game from my own childhood – mainly I recalled that it was easier than Monopoly, but more boring than Sorry. But as my daughter set up the game, I started to remember the game’s not-so-subtle analogies: you drive a boxy, affordable station wagon down a winding road (the road of LIFE, mind you), steer through the twists and turns (of LIFE), over hills and valleys (of LIFE!), and as you motor merrily along, you navigate all of life’s super-fun challenges: marriage, family, career. Kids love it.
Adults, however, play it and end up in a state of clinical depression.
To find out what happens, click here. Originally, I was going for funny in this post, but, erm... something slightly more bitter may have taken over. Heh.
Thanks, Kristine.
Posts
Couldn't figure out how to comment there, so I comment here.
ReplyDeleteFirst: "My little blue peg apparently had a low sperm count" made be expel coffee all over the computer.
B: While the pegs may be blue and pink, the are strikingly phallic. Some gay designer was having his fun with the conservative LIFE overlords.
@Tilda: So far, my favorite comment on this post over at Wait in the Van is from someone who said that in the photo, Saucy's peg-husband looks like a dickhead. Heh.
ReplyDeleteOK! OK! I'll go!
ReplyDeletePearl
It was still mostly funny, with hints of bitterness.
ReplyDeleteI have only played this game once since I became an adult because of all the depression. :)
ReplyDeleteI used to love this game, but thanks to you I'll never be able to look at it the same again. LOL Hopefully your daughter will be kind in choosing your nursing home.
ReplyDeletedead hooker in the backseat of your car?!?!
ReplyDeletesquandered all your book royalties on DRUGS and WHORES?!?!
*sob* SO proud of you.
Loved it! I've never landed on the dead hooker square. I'm kind of disappointed. I'll have to play again sometime.
ReplyDeleteJust jumped back. LOL.
ReplyDeleteI forgot, what about the fact that everyone in that alternate cardboard reality is a quadruple amputee? And could never buy, much less SEE various insurance policies?
In fact, without even the symbolic gesture of any of the 5 senses, they can't even tell where they're "driving".
No wonder there's an epidemic of depression.
Thankfully the current generation will grow up as spaceship captains, commandeering troops, getting promotions and saving the universe on a regular basis. They already know how to survive any type of apocalypse and fight zombies. I'm in capable little hands.
So true.
ReplyDeleteHilarious, as always! Congratulations on the best-selling, book, by the way. Sounds like the most flattering spot on the board. :)
ReplyDeleteI hate that game.
ReplyDeleteI too was roped into game playing with the family over the holidays.
And there is NO WAY I would ever let one of my kids "operate" on me. My nose would be lit up permenantly.
The only game I hate more than Life is Monopoly. They are both soul suckers.
ReplyDeleteI played this board game about 483 times just during my babysitting years alone (I actually had a tally system). I so much as look at the game of Life and I want to bash my face into the nearest coffee table.
ReplyDeleteMy eyes are also gun shy because of the game - you'd be surprised how often playing Life will get you blinded by an angry child who is losing. Febreeze is not lovely in the eyes. Just a forewarning.